


Would love to see you smile

by eugene25holmes



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-07 21:33:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21224540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eugene25holmes/pseuds/eugene25holmes
Summary: There are mentions of blood, nightmare, panic attack. Not in very detail though.





	Would love to see you smile

**Author's Note:**

> There are mentions of blood, nightmare, panic attack. Not in very detail though.

You staggered into the living room, steadying yourself by the door. You looked around for someone to assist you to your room, or to the bathroom at least. But you found it completely abandoned and a soft, defeated sigh escaped your lips as you realised that everyone was either out on a mission or on a meeting with Fury. You couldn’t even enter the room without spoiling the floor due to the blood that covered your clothes. You had just returned from a mission and thanks to that, you had a broken leg but the blood wasn’t yours.  
You knew that you still had one option- Loki. But you would gladly die than to accept his help. You two weren’t what people would call friends but you weren’t enemies either. Loki had, in the past hurt you, by his words and actions alike, and you weren’t the one to accept defeat and go ask for his help. You sighed again and decided to try to make it to the room yourself. You took one step inside, and all the pain came crashing down on you like a huge sea wave. You expected to fall to the floor but then opened a single eye to see a pair of arms holding you up. You knew who those arms belonged to and you weren’t going to deny that so often you had fantasized about those very arms protecting you like they were now. Talk about literally falling for the ‘enemy’.  
“Let me go.”, you hissed at Loki. But that did nothing to wipe away the cheeky smirk on that bastard’s face. “Shouldn’t you be thanking me for saving you Midgardian?” You just rolled your eyes and tried to break free from his hold. He loosened his grip a bit , but as he left you, you started falling again. So he caught you in his arms with a smug look that made you want to kiss it right off his face. You felt your cheeks redden at the very thought. He didn’t notice though as he seemingly contemplated something. Then suddenly, without a warning he lifted you up bridal style earning a small squeal from you. You smacked him on the chest and glared at him “Put me down!”, you said. You were annoyed at his helpful behaviour. It was making it harder to control your feelings for him and the close proximity did nothing to help. He ignored you and strutted to your room under your intense glare.  
He set you down on the bathroom floor and turned on the water to prepare a bath. “That’s a lot of blood you have there. Are you okay?”, you would be lying if you said that there was no concern in his voice or that your heart didn’t start beating rapidly as he looked at you from head to toe. “Calm your arrogant ass, none of it is mine.”, you rolled your eyes at him. “That’s not very reassuring either.” He muttered loud enough for you to hear. “Okay now, out! Thank you very much for your help but now get out.”, you smiled sarcastically at him. He raised his hands in surrender and left the bathroom.  
If you were being honest, cleaning up yourself with a broken leg was not easy. After struggling for about an hour you finally got into fresh clothes and couldn’t smell the blood. When you staggered out, you were afraid to fall again but Loki was there, waiting for you to come out and without a word lifted you up again. You didn’t protest this time. Rather you asked him- “Were you standing there the whole time?” He simply gave a small nod and carried you to the kitchen. He set you down at the counter and put your leg on the chair. “I made soup, it isn’t that good but……….that was what my mother used to do when I got myself into such accidents”, he grimaced at the loss of memories and you felt your heart wrench for him for you knew how it felt to lose a mother. You simply nodded and drank the soup. You told him about your mission and he asked a few questions but that was about it. Otherwise the room was filled with silence.  
You realised that there had been a shift in the equation you two shared. It was no longer hostile, competitive or filled with frustration. It seemed like the beginning of something. Not that you were complaining but you wondered about the change in his behavior. He again picked you up and carried you to your room. As he set you on the bed, you felt the sting in your leg and tightly clutched the collar of his black shirt. He noticed it and immediately went to get the first aid. He came back in a matter of few seconds and gently placed your leg on his lap. “I’m sorry for not doing this earlier but you seemed to have taken good care of yourself.” He went on to dress it up and you admired the way his long, slender fingers worked deftly and delicately on your leg. “Where did you learn to do that?”, you asked softly. “Mother.” Was the only word you heard. “I’m sorry.”, you whispered. There was a flash of anger in his eyes but then realisation dawned on his face when he remembered that you had lost your mother too. He laughed without humor, a bitter laugh- “And they think that’s reassuring, Apologizing for someone’s loss. Does that bring them back? Does that make it right?” You could now clearly see the pain, torment and agony on his face. “It doesn’t but you know that you have others to support you.”, you said.  
“I’m sorry.”, he said, his blue eyes meeting yours. “I’m sorry for the way I treated you in the past. I…….. I just didn’t know how to handle the situation that I had put myself in.” You asked him what he meant by that but he simply shook his head and left your room, leaving you to digest what he had just confessed. Did that- did that mean that he harbored feelings for you as well? You questioned but then berated yourself for dreaming a fairytale romance that would never be.  
You tried to sleep but nightmares haunted you. The killing, the bloodshed, the screams, the pain. It was like that the first few days after a mission but then everything went normal, at least as normal as it could ever be. You hesitantly called for Loki but he came in almost instantly leading you to believe that he was standing there the whole time. But at that very moment a panic attack struck you and you started breathing heavily.

Loki was immediately by your side, rubbing circles on your back and on the back of your hands. He took your face in his hands and started speaking to you, trying to be heard above your internal screaming. “Concentrate on your breathing Y/N. Breathe in slowly, hold it and release it. Slowly. You can do this, you’ve got this, you are strong.” He held you close and listening to his heartbeat calmed your breath and relaxed you. You finally let out a ragged breath. You felt much better but inside you were still shaken. You had such attacks only twice in the past.  
He gently patted your head and smoothed down your hair, then pushed you down to the bed and whispered- “sleep”. As he was about to leave, you held on to his sleeve and whispered- “Stay. Please”. So he got into the bed with you and pulled your covers up to your chin. He took you in his arms and started speaking slowly, carefully measuring his words so as to not scare you away. “When I first saw you, I was enamored. Your beauty bewitched me when I saw you in that dress at Stark’s party. I had never felt like this for anyone in my life. At first I thought it was just lust, but as I got to know you further, I got enraptured by the way you talked with your hands and eyes, more than you said in words. Whenever I had to make a decision, I thought whether you would like it or not. I began to base my choices on you.” He paused to gauge your reaction. Your gaze was transfixed on him, willing him to continue. “But then instead of confronting my feelings I saw them as a weakness and started treating you harshly in hope that it would drive them away. But it worsened and every time I looked at your face and saw the hurt on it because of me, I felt destroyed. I felt the pain ten times but I was too afraid to talk to you.”  
Your eyes were now glistening with unshed tears. To know that he loved you for so long yet never told you because of his insecurities made you want to hold him and comfort him. So you hugged him as close as you could and relaxed when you felt his arms wrap around you as he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck. He kissed your neck and softly whispered, “I’ve fallen for you. Long time ago.” You looked at him and smiled at his confession-“ I love you too my trickster”. “You look ravishing when you smile my dear, I would love to see you smile more often.”, he breathed out. “I would make sure that I am the reason behind your smiles from now on, no more tears.” He wiped away a stray tear that had made its way down your face and kissed you tenderly. 

“When I saw you bloodied and beaten up today, I realised that if I ever lost you, I would die myself and there was no use ignoring what I had. It would only lead to pain on my part. It was selfish of me to be this hard but I regret it and would like to make up for our lost time.” He said with utmost sincerity and desire that you felt a shiver run down your spine. You kissed him again, passionately this time, but he broke off before things could become more heated. “You deserve a good sleep, love.” He said and brushed his hand across your forehead, kissing your eyelids.  
Both of you were intoxicated by each other’s presence and fell into a deep and peaceful slumber in each other’s arms.

A few hours later, Tony came to check on you but when he saw you wrapped in Loki’s arms, he said to himself, “About damn time they got together.” And went on to tell the news to Steve who was your biggest shipper, along with Tony of course.

**Author's Note:**

> I write on Tumblr usually, as @i-burnt-the-pages, so you can find more of my works there. ^_^


End file.
